A travel agent said to his customer, “I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for a hundred bucks.” “How come so cheap?” replied the customer. The travel agent told him, “The days are July 11, 12 and 13. The nights are July 21 and 22.” customer "....... -_-"
A young tourist from the United States went on a guided tour of a frightening old European castle. At the end of the tour the guide asked her how she enjoyed it. “I was a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages,” admitted the young woman, “but all in all, it was a very interesting tour.
“There was no reason to worry,” responded the guide, “I’ve never seen a ghost the entire time I’ve been here.”
A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. Room service; "Morny, Ruin Sorbees". Guest; "sorry, I thought I dialled room service". RS; "Rye... Ruin sorbees...morny! Djewush to ordor sunteen?". G; "uh.. Yes, I'd like to order some bacon and eggs." RS; " ow july den?". G; " what??". RS; "ow july den?...pry, boy, poach?". G; " oh the eggs, how do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS; "oh, july dee bayhcem...crease?". G; " crisp will be fine." RS; " Hokay. An San tos?". G; " what?". RS; " San tos, july San tos.". G; " I don't think so." RS; " No, judo one toes?". G; " I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what ' judo one toes' means." RS; " Toes toes! ... Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?". G; " English muffin! I've got it!" You were saying ' toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine. RS; " we bother?" G; " No, just put bother on the side" RS " Wad?" G; " I mean butter just put it on the side.".
I found this joke in internet and straight after I read it, I love it! Hope you love it as much as I do..
Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good. I think I'll have one too." Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoe s and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
W : Hi… I’m interest to have holiday packages to countryside. T : Ok. We have 2 packages. First package is Lembang, Bandung and the second one is Sukabumi. Both of them spend 3 days 2 nights. You can see a lot of beautiful view, animals, and traditional culture of the villages. W : Ehmmm.. That’s sound interesting and how much is it? T: The first package is Rp 1,000,000,- and the second package is Rp 800,000,- W: It’s so expensive. Can I have cheaper price? T: The price is already fixed, mam. W: How about I go there by public transportation? Can I bring my own foods so you don’t have to provide food for me? How about I stay in my aunt’s house, so I don’t have to pay for hotel? I want to learn planting and harvest as soon as possible so I can show to my family that I can do it. And I don’t want to see the same animal as usual. I want to see unique animals such as pink horses, chicken with 1 leg and tiny elephants. T : ……………………………………………..><” W: Can I have 90 % discount? Or maybe free? T : Yes, mam (calmly). You can get free. First thing you have to do is open your laptop, connect to internet, open your facebook, visit my Farmville.. You will get everything that you want for free. Enjoy your trip, Mam!
Hi everyone, here's one funny joke related to tourism, since it's in video I can't describe it with words because i'm afraid it's not going to be funny anymore so here's the link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAFQFvSPhQ8 ENJOY!!!!
Hi i found this joke on the internet, but i change some of the word because it is impolite. hope you guys enjoy it!
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer. On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger." This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. [click] [click] Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief. The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year. When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful women. The African ambassador said "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. They will be your private waiters for your dinner tonight". The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?" With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them's a cannibal"
Customer Service Jokes Other stores take the opposite approach. When you can't find the right size adapter for your new portable electronic zapper gizmo thingy, you look for help in aisle three. Nobody there. Aisle four? Still nobody. Aisle five? Nope. Aisle six? Seven? Fifty-six?
Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?" Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!" "Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!" Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you... Thank you very much!"
There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress. On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI like this Joke! <3
ReplyDeleteCheap travel
A travel agent said to his customer, “I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for a hundred bucks.”
“How come so cheap?” replied the customer.
The travel agent told him, “The days are July 11, 12 and 13. The nights are July 21 and 22.”
customer "....... -_-"
haha
Asha :)
Fun and scary at the same time .... :P@_@
ReplyDeleteCastle Tour
A young tourist from the United States went on a guided tour of a frightening old European castle. At the end of the tour the guide asked her how she enjoyed it. “I was a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages,” admitted the young woman, “but all in all, it was a very interesting tour.
“There was no reason to worry,” responded the guide, “I’ve never seen a ghost the entire time I’ve been here.”
“And how long is that?” asked the girl.
“About three hundred years …”
kkkkkk
By Ket
A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. Room service; "Morny, Ruin Sorbees". Guest; "sorry, I thought I dialled room service". RS; "Rye... Ruin sorbees...morny! Djewush to ordor sunteen?". G; "uh.. Yes, I'd like to order some bacon and eggs." RS; " ow july den?". G; " what??". RS; "ow july den?...pry, boy, poach?". G; " oh the eggs, how do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS; "oh, july dee bayhcem...crease?". G; " crisp will be fine." RS; " Hokay. An San tos?". G; " what?". RS; " San tos, july San tos.". G; " I don't think so." RS; " No, judo one toes?". G; " I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what ' judo one toes' means." RS; " Toes toes! ... Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?". G; " English muffin! I've got it!" You were saying ' toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine. RS; " we bother?" G; " No, just put bother on the side" RS " Wad?" G; " I mean butter just put it on the side.".
ReplyDeleteThis made me chuckle.... Eiei ...
ReplyDeleteI found this joke in internet and straight after I read it, I love it! Hope you love it as much as I do..
ReplyDeleteTwo Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good. I think I'll have one too." Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoe s and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCrazy Woman
ReplyDeleteBy Devina
W=Woman
T =Travel Agent
W : Hi… I’m interest to have holiday packages to countryside.
T : Ok. We have 2 packages. First package is Lembang, Bandung and the second one is Sukabumi. Both of them spend 3 days 2 nights. You can see a lot of beautiful view, animals, and traditional culture of the villages.
W : Ehmmm.. That’s sound interesting and how much is it?
T: The first package is Rp 1,000,000,- and the second package is Rp 800,000,-
W: It’s so expensive. Can I have cheaper price?
T: The price is already fixed, mam.
W: How about I go there by public transportation? Can I bring my own foods so you don’t have to provide food for me? How about I stay in my aunt’s house, so I don’t have to pay for hotel? I want to learn planting and harvest as soon as possible so I can show to my family that I can do it. And I don’t want to see the same animal as usual. I want to see unique animals such as pink horses, chicken with 1 leg and tiny elephants.
T : ……………………………………………..><”
W: Can I have 90 % discount? Or maybe free?
T : Yes, mam (calmly). You can get free. First thing you have to do is open your laptop, connect to internet, open your facebook, visit my Farmville.. You will get everything that you want for free. Enjoy your trip, Mam!
Hi everyone, here's one funny joke related to tourism, since it's in video I can't describe it with words because i'm afraid it's not going to be funny anymore so here's the link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAFQFvSPhQ8 ENJOY!!!!
ReplyDeletehi guys this the funny jokes from me, i hope you get it :)
ReplyDeleteDuring an excursion on Lochness River a tourist asks:
- Excuse me, when does the monster usually appear?
- After the fifth glass of wine.
Hi i found this joke on the internet, but i change some of the word because it is impolite. hope you guys enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThe ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
[click] [click]
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful women.
The African ambassador said "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. They will be your private waiters for your dinner tonight".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal"
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Hospitality#ixzz1uQnJJ54p
Kim da ae
ReplyDeleteCustomer Service Jokes
Other stores take the opposite approach. When you can't find the right size adapter for your new portable electronic zapper gizmo thingy, you look for help in aisle three. Nobody there. Aisle four? Still nobody. Aisle five? Nope. Aisle six? Seven? Fifty-six?
This is called "run for cover customer service."
More jokes? Visit the website
Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?" Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!" "Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!" Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you... Thank you very much!"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.best-funny-jokes.com/travel-and-tourist-jokes-9215
Here's one funny joke from me:
ReplyDeleteThere was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress. On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"
hey! Hope you find this funny :D
ReplyDeleteA panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”